Dr. Michael S. Porder
Dr. Michael S. Porder, a prominent New York City psychoanalyst, passed away after a long illness on October 15, 2021, at the age of 88. Mike was born in Boston, MA, and grew up in Brookline, MA. In 1954, Mike graduated cum laude from Harvard University, and in 1958 from Columbia University College of Physicians and Surgeons. Mike became interested in psychiatry because he thought it was the only field of medicine where a doctor really got to know their patients – a philosophy that guided both his professional and personal life. In 1964, Mike began his lifelong work with the New York Psychoanalytic Institute, where he discovered his passion for psychoanalysis. He opened his practice that year, and he continued to talk to patients until shortly before his death.
Mike was a widely recognized authority on psychoanalysis. His positions included Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at the Albert Einstein College of Medicine (1965-1990), Associate Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at Mt. Sinai School of Medicine (1990-2000), and Lecturer in Psychiatry at Columbia University College of Physicians and Surgeons (1965-1990). He was a member of the Editorial Board of The Psychoanalytic Quarterly, and a Member of the Center for Advanced Psychoanalytic Studies since 1983. As a Training and Supervising Analyst at the New York Psychoanalytic Institute, he was a beloved colleague and a mentor to generations of psychoanalysts. With his colleagues Sander Abend and Martin Willick, Mike wrote a well-received treatise on psychological perspectives of treatments of borderline patients. His colleagues recognized his contribution to the field by selecting him twice to give the Institute’s prestigious Brill Lecture (1996 and 2019).
Notwithstanding his professional dedication and accomplishments, Mike considered his roles of husband, father, grandfather, and great-grandfather to be his most important. Mike leaves behind Dr. Peggy Porder, his wife of 53 years, his children Melissa Heckler (Dr. Frederick Shiels), Deborah Porder (Bruce Wiener), Dr. Joseph Porder (Dr. Kathleen Porder), Peter Lonergan (Cecilia Pinto de Moura), Jennifer Gurvits (Eugene Gurvits), Kenneth Lonergan (J. Smith-Cameron), and Dr. Stephen Porder (Dr. Bethany Gentilesco). He was preceded in death by his brother Lee Porder. Mike’s thirteen grandchildren were a source of constant joy to him, as was his enchanting great-granddaughter. His involvement in each of his children’s and grandchildren’s lives, and his support for their diverse careers were unwavering and unquestioning.
New York City was Mike’s home, but his spiritual home was a summer house on Spednic Lake in New Brunswick. Every year, he looked forward to re-charging his batteries on the lakeshore, deep in a book, surrounded by the sound of gentle waves, rustling trees, and his family chatting, arguing, and laughing together. He got great pleasure from the loon-call recorded on the lake that became the family ringtone. Shortly before his death, when he was too weak to make the trip by boat, he mused, only half-kidding, that he would like to be lowered from a helicopter so he could be there one more time.
Mike reveled in the fading art of joke-telling and possessed an extensive repertoire of off-color jokes, causing his family to simultaneously groan and burst out laughing. His opening line in many phone calls was “I have a joke for you.” But he didn’t joke about his long suffering as a Red Sox fan, though he was ultimately vindicated for his perseverance during their recent successes. Despite this, he loved New York, and until his last day, Mike’s thirst for human connection engaged his wide-ranging intellect with his fellow New Yorkers. His “backyard”, Central Park, was a source of endless joy. He spent many hours there, sitting on a bench, talking to passing-by acquaintances who stopped by to tell their stories – the doctor was “in”. Opera, chamber music, and birdsong were the soundscape of his life. The art of relationships, the study of the mind, and the beauty of the seasons were his lifescape.
It is rare for someone to be larger than life to both their family and to so many others. Mike was a father to his children, and a mentor, life coach and lifeline for many, many more. It was not unusual to learn that someone he met, or a relative of some friend, was living with him and Peggy while sorting out a problem or finding their way in the world. Mike experienced the world through such connections with people. Their interests and problems were always on his mind, and he made innumerable lives better through his love, advice, and sometimes pointed commentary. Mike’s children often heard from friends or acquaintances the phrase, “He was like a father to me.”
The celebration of Mike’s life will be held at a later date. In lieu of flowers, a donation in Mike’s name may be made to Natural Resources Council of Maine at nrcm.org.